I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
