WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
