well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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