David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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