I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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