she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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