Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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