this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
