Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
