But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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