it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
