but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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