I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
