haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
