What a fucking waste of an outfit
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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