Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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