i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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