Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
