Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
