Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
