you traded sex for a burrito?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
