You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
