We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
