i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
