Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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