I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
