Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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