awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
