I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
