You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
