maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
