I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
