Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Did I show you my penis last night?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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