There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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