he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
