i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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