Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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