i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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