I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
