I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
last night I used snow as a chaser
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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