This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
