if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
