Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
