honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
