I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
