i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
