I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
