His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
