There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
