Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
