does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Bring me that man meat
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
