Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My ass is underappreciated
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
