you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
